the creator and her creations
Truthfully, all of this started as a means of coping with crippling anxiety and depression during a very dark and painful time.
I had lived my life according to what I thought was expected of me and in turn I expected it all to run smoothly down the track towards happily ever after.
Well, when my train crashed and all of my expectations went tumbling into a ravine, I had no idea how I was supposed to keep chugging along ...
I was a young, stressed out, and a now divorced attorney in NYC with hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt. In an effort to save and get back on my feet, I was moving onto a blowup mattress in my sister's 1-bed Manhattan apartment. I felt like a complete failure, I hated myself, and I was desperate to find some kind of relief from the pain. As a spiritual person, I tried to lean into the practices I grew up with, but as I now found myself persona non grata within the only religion I had ever known, none of those did the trick.
Despite the fact that I was now banished as damaged goods, my faith in something greater than myself remained. In fact, my spirituality was stronger than it ever had been and I knew that leaning into that part of myself was the only way I would find the other side of the pit I was in. One day I was sitting with my Grandmother's crystal rosary beads finding it impossible to say the prayers she said and the words she taught me, when it hit me hard. As I ran her beads through my fingers and thought about the devotion, prayer, and faith that she poured into those stones I was overwhelmed by a feeling of clarity and peace...I heard a voice say "right road, wrong vehicle."
It was suddenly so clear to me that I was different, I had evolved, I had gone through the flames and transformed. I still had my faith, but in that moment what I needed was something that would allow me to connect to the power within myself instead of searching for it elsewhere. I needed a new "space for grace" as I started calling it and this is where it led me.
From that time, I immersed myself in the study of meditation, mantra, and in crystal alchemy. I began to understand the energetic power of crystals, the transformative capacity of mantra and meditation, and the unparalleled effect of the combination of those things. As I began coupling those things in making customized malas for friends and family members, I witnessed the miraculous ways people's lives were touched by these precious strands and the practice they enable.
Today, I feel so blessed to have a practice that helps me show up as the best and most centered version of myself and to deal with the challenges and stresses of daily life. I am even more grateful to have a platform to share these powerful tools and this practice with others.
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to do just that.